Sad Sad Sad
2005 is really a bad year for me, I have been crying a lot due to a lot of problems. For work, relationship and my family. Oh my, I’m really very tired and I really wanna a break away from here and go to somewhere that I can really relax myself and live a worried free life for the rest of my life.
I cry once badly today again, due to the fact that my father is breaking the new that he wanna divorce my mother. Perhaps, this is a better way for the both of them I guess. Some times I really feel very tired to be sandwiched between both of my parents. Each have their side of story to say and I really dunno who to side. Having a simple request of a happy family what my father wanted cause he didn’t have one since young. Just like a I do, I hope that I can have a happy family next time. But looking at things going this way, I really did stay single and be alone for the rest of my life. What is happiness to me? I really dunno and dunno how to definite the word
Cause I have not enconunter it before, heaven always been so cruel to me. never like me get the things I wanna. Or should I say, things always dun go the way I wan even though I fought hard for it. Sometimes people will say just submit to fate but I will never give up in trying or obtaining the things I want. Unless there is really no other way out but guess really have to give in to fate at times.
My father has a talk with us, bring about the past and future. Suddenly make me think, how foolish and navie I was back then. To do all kind of stupid things that can’t be prevented but I think people just learn from mistake and be a better person. Have to bump around and realize who are the baddy and who the good ones are. Like I say, having to be street smart it will have a price to pay.Well, will have to carry the burden of looking after the family needs. Including giving mother allowance, paying all the bills and all other stuff. It give me the thinking that having a family is really not easy.
I blame it on heaven once again, why some people can just take the money they earn to do whatever they like and go traveling as and when they like? Unlike me, every month go to contribute and make sure that my salary is sufficient to keep me going. I wanna go and find a part-time and earn extra cash for the time being until I fulfill my dreams of flying. After today, I really swear and will work hard that I’m going to wear that SIA cabin crew uniform one day.
After some thoughts, my heart was actually very dishearten wanna not to pursue any further in the relationship. because I totally have no faith in love any more, getting myself hurt time after time and see people around parted. It really sadden me a lot and looking at the cross stitch that I’m going to sew and give it to you. I actually thought of not continuing it and just leave it aside. As I make a lot of mistake when counting the exactly number of colour code.
I have attempted to give it out because once I make a mistake I have to unstitch the whole lot portion and stitch again. Once again this is very time consuming and a lot of my effort is placed in it. I was thinking, will you know how to appreciate it or what will you be feeling when you receive it. Maybe, after you look at it you will just leave it at one side and let my work befriend the dirt and dust of your room.
At least, through this period I have learned that in life you will encounter a lot of failure. And once you have met failure, are you willing to give in the time and effort once again to try again and get it done, completed or fulfilled. There is always one word to descript that is no pain no gain. Normally people will have to go through some suffering before they have the tasted of what sweetness is. I never chose to give up but continue fighting to the last minute before I get the thing completed and finally have it delivered to you door step or mail box.
I cry once badly today again, due to the fact that my father is breaking the new that he wanna divorce my mother. Perhaps, this is a better way for the both of them I guess. Some times I really feel very tired to be sandwiched between both of my parents. Each have their side of story to say and I really dunno who to side. Having a simple request of a happy family what my father wanted cause he didn’t have one since young. Just like a I do, I hope that I can have a happy family next time. But looking at things going this way, I really did stay single and be alone for the rest of my life. What is happiness to me? I really dunno and dunno how to definite the word
Cause I have not enconunter it before, heaven always been so cruel to me. never like me get the things I wanna. Or should I say, things always dun go the way I wan even though I fought hard for it. Sometimes people will say just submit to fate but I will never give up in trying or obtaining the things I want. Unless there is really no other way out but guess really have to give in to fate at times.
My father has a talk with us, bring about the past and future. Suddenly make me think, how foolish and navie I was back then. To do all kind of stupid things that can’t be prevented but I think people just learn from mistake and be a better person. Have to bump around and realize who are the baddy and who the good ones are. Like I say, having to be street smart it will have a price to pay.Well, will have to carry the burden of looking after the family needs. Including giving mother allowance, paying all the bills and all other stuff. It give me the thinking that having a family is really not easy.
I blame it on heaven once again, why some people can just take the money they earn to do whatever they like and go traveling as and when they like? Unlike me, every month go to contribute and make sure that my salary is sufficient to keep me going. I wanna go and find a part-time and earn extra cash for the time being until I fulfill my dreams of flying. After today, I really swear and will work hard that I’m going to wear that SIA cabin crew uniform one day.
After some thoughts, my heart was actually very dishearten wanna not to pursue any further in the relationship. because I totally have no faith in love any more, getting myself hurt time after time and see people around parted. It really sadden me a lot and looking at the cross stitch that I’m going to sew and give it to you. I actually thought of not continuing it and just leave it aside. As I make a lot of mistake when counting the exactly number of colour code.
I have attempted to give it out because once I make a mistake I have to unstitch the whole lot portion and stitch again. Once again this is very time consuming and a lot of my effort is placed in it. I was thinking, will you know how to appreciate it or what will you be feeling when you receive it. Maybe, after you look at it you will just leave it at one side and let my work befriend the dirt and dust of your room.
At least, through this period I have learned that in life you will encounter a lot of failure. And once you have met failure, are you willing to give in the time and effort once again to try again and get it done, completed or fulfilled. There is always one word to descript that is no pain no gain. Normally people will have to go through some suffering before they have the tasted of what sweetness is. I never chose to give up but continue fighting to the last minute before I get the thing completed and finally have it delivered to you door step or mail box.
posted by Cecilia at 2:18 PM
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