When That Day Will Come?

Today is a peaceful day nothing much has happen. But thinking about my future makes me ponder and wonder a lot. During lunch today, I was talking with my colleague and we are from the same batch. We went training together and had our fun time but only till recently days that we come closer as she was just seated opposite me. So we tend to talk more and joke more with each other.

Remember the times when we are having training there are a total of 20 of us. But now left with only 5 of us. I as asking her, who she will think will leave first out of this 5. and the first person she say was me. I was having the same thoughts too, cause I am one of the youngest there and still have plenty of opportunities waiting for me. Besides that I’m still waiting to fulfill my dreams and the day will come soon. And I strong believe that day will definitely come.

Its Another Day

Hours and hours of waiting and I told myself that I must learn to expect less in life. Cause the least I expect the least I will felt disappointed. I was right that you will chose to ignore the SMS that I sent you and will not do anything about it. Some times it really makes wonder that do you really receive my SMS or not.

Guess I have to slowly wait and learn to let go already. You didn’t bother so much and practically dun care whether do am I alive or not. Perhaps you are doing all this to drive me crazy and eventually withdraw and give up on you. You are so selfish and unmanly of you to do all this. Hey, you are a guy why can you tell me straight and I am able to take it. why are you hiding and avoiding and lastly ignoring me. Can’t we just talk things out and settle once and for all?

Whatever it is, I shall not think about it anymore cause it will makes me cry. I shall look forward to my long holiday and a holiday that I look forward to you. It would be better that I could actually leave Singapore.

Rainy Day My Missing For You Is So Bad

Finally its my day off and the only thing that I wanna do is to sleep and yes I did manage to catch up with my sleep that I have lost over the past weeks. While, dunno what’s the special occasion today, my missing for you is so bad and terrible. I kept thinking of you non stop since yesterday night to now.

Perhaps its raining, that’s why my missing for you is so bad. Thinking about how nice it will be if I could be by your side and hug you to sleep in the wonderful weather. But this will never happen again. My missing for you is as bad as what it used to be back then when you went for your short holiday. The missing is beyond words and it cannot be expressed out.

That butch was asking me and she find it very funny. She asked me, since I still miss you and have feeling for you why dun I call you or sms you. I didn’t know what to say but I told her that I did actually do all this, but every time when I do it I have no response from you. Therefore, I will not know what’s on your mind and what you are exactly thinking about. All this while its like a one way traffic.

Guess that I’m too sentiment, I looked at those sms that you once sent me. And you told me that you wanna me be the only girl in the rest of your life. Nobody can replace me in your heart and I’m the only girl that makes you wanna settle down and you wants me to be your legal wife and be called Mrs Wong. This will never happen anymore and I nearly cried when I saw those SMS. Images just flash across my mind when I received those SMS

Finally, I sent you an SMS to tell you my missing. But I’m for sure that 101% that I will not get a reply for you. But its ok, somewhat I’m used to it already. You will not reply SMS that is not significant or important and no not say that will not bring sales to you. I guess I should not wait for you to reply casue it will never happen.

I wonder, couples break up and they manage to reconcile with each other and get back together. But why can I have that kind of fortunate and have a chance to talk things out with you. This is very cruel on me but the reality is also cruel. How can I stop my missing for you?

Its Just Another Day Of Missing

3 September 2005, Saturday – Rainy

How I wised that I need not have to get up and go to work today. And stay at home for the rest of my day to sleep. I really need sleep and my complexion is really bad recently due to the fact that I slept late and do not have suffix sleeps. As usual, I took a very long time to get up from bed and go to work.

I was feeling so sleepy and tired during work and I keep yawning non stop. But the lucky thing was Saturday normal dun have much calls. So I landed up talking with other colleagues, talking and gossiping about others. We hardly have the chance to talk to each other non work related stuff during normal working others. Saturday is the only more relax time for us and we had our good times.

After work, just so happened that we have nothing to do so I went down to bugis with that butch. We went to have desert at this place and went we went into the shop, you suddenly flash across my mind. I remember how you first called me “lao po” when we are in the shop over at Chinatown. While we are waiting for our food, you kept looking at me. I asked you why you kept looking at me? And you replied that you just like looking at me. I still can recall very clearly the whole image. But wonder how long will it last in my memories lane.

Then throughout the night while we are out, I was shopping and trying clothing. I happen to be at TOPSHOP and saw couples of strip tops and you came across my mind too. I so much wanted to get the top for you but something just holds me back. We headed to somewhere for a drink and we seat down to chat. We suddenly talk about secondary school life. And it just so happened that we did actually meet each other 7 yeas back when we are still schooling.

When we talked about it, we totally can’t recall we seen each other before and just so coincident that we meet again 7 years later. So the best thing was her cousin was my poly classmates. And her cousin was surely a very smart ass and really excels in his studies. We got so much to talk about just like a long lost friend. We have so many similarities as in the problem we faced when we first got in poly and blah blah blah. I find my life is so dramatic when I know you but it still continues until now. Guess it will not change for the rest of it.

As it was late and I was walking down my staircase, I saw that different spot on the floor that you once mapped on it. It just reminds me of our good old time back then and this will never gonna happen again.

Is My Waiting Worthwhile

Today is my day off, and I wanted very much to stay home and rest to catch up with my lost of sleep. But having second thoughts of whether to stay at home or not. When I stayed home, there is nothing much I can do also. So I finally drag my tired and heavy body to work.

While I was at work, I didn’t have the extra time to think about anything else as I’m so busy doing my work as I have to meet target. As I cant concentrate, I ask my colleague to help me with some emails. But this always come with a price, landed up gotta buy her coffee to show my appreciation towards her. I was so surprised that she help me, as she have her own emails to do as well.

I did OT for 8 hours and finally its time for me to go home, as it was raining I sudden have a lot of flash back. On my way home, I started to think about a lot of things. Its about 4 months that we last see each other, and slowly it will be 6 months and followed by 1 year. If we are going at the stage that we are going now, soon enough we will lost touch with each other.

I guess this is a better for both parties right, we choice our own way. and this can only happen once in life. So we shall let it continue this way as I dun have any better solution to it. maybe by them I might have wounded heart have cover and dun wanna get hurt anymore.

Although, I very much wanted to forgo this relationship as soon as possible but its always easier. This is like neither here or there and it have been hanging there. Recently, I have been missing you a lot and the missing is very bad. At times, I ask myself is it worth it to bring so much pain. will my waiting have returns? I guess I will never have answer to it. Only time will tell. But I should have guessed the outcome by now.

Wonder Wonder Wonder

Its another and still have no news from you yet. It really makes me wonder have you receive the thing and read the email that I sent to you. Or you simply ignore everything that shows or reflects my name.

I finally took up my hp and sent you an SMS asking whether have you receive your ring that I return. You took sometime to reply me but at least you replied and you say that you did not received, it really puzzled me a lot. I handed the thing personally to your mum and she should have placed it on your table.

And when you return you should have seen the thing, but you didn’t even SMS and acknowledged it. just like the other time when I return the ring to you, your mum did the same thing but you manage to see it why not this time round? And your SMS towards me was very cold too. Seems like you really wanna break contact with me, it this is the case then I’ll have to respect your decision. Furthermore, I’m not your whosoever to control your life.

I was waiting for you to SMS me the whole night to see whether have you received the thing yet. But you never and I really wanna know have your or have you not received the thing. I can only used my imagination to think whether the whole thing have reached you.

It Just Another Day of Waiting

It's another day, I woke up extra early just to check my mails and everything possible that you can reached me. But no new mails, no message no nothing from you. Haiz, guess that sometimes in life we should not expect too much. Cause the more we expect the more disappointment it will lead us to. Maybe we dun expected and dun wait for it will come when I least expect it huh?

Finally got my pay today and when I looked at the amount I was do happy. All my hard work get paid off at the end of the month. Decided to go for a shopping spree but gotta think carefully and plan where my money should go to. Well, doing OT again but today will be the finally day to do OT. And from tomorrow onwards will have to adjust by going home early.

I was thinking, perhaps thinking too much and this will never happened caused I know you will not going to do anything about it. I was thinking that you could have appeared at my void desk waiting for me to get home and explained everything to be. But then once again, this can only happen in my dreams and no where else.

Oh well, this another day still no new from you. are your deliberately trying to avoid me or have I really done something wrong that you didn’t even wanna speak to me anymore? Didn’t you say that if any thing I still can SMS but you always dun seems to reply to my SMS. Sometimes, it really makes me wonder are you still alive in the world or not. Your attitude to me is like you have vanished into the think air.

Never its ok, I will wait patiently for you to give me a reply. Well, it is just another day of missing for you.

你好相判了我死形式的，毫无给我身纯的余地。。。
就算被判死刑者， 他们还可以上诉。。。
但是你却没给我反驳的机会。。。
这是为何能？？